Dear Amy,

My best friend and I planned to take a fun weekend trip together, just the two of us. But now she’s invited her new boyfriend along without asking me first. She says she thought it’d be “more fun” with him there, but this was supposed to be a girls’ trip. I don’t want to be the third wheel all weekend. How do I handle this without starting a fight?

Sincerely,

Stuck in the middle Maddie

Dear Maddie,

Ah yes, the classic “girls’ trip turned romantic getaway (for them).” You’re not the third wheel — you’re the whole unicycle, wobbling along for the ride. Picture it, the two of them riding off into the sunset on a motorcycle — with you next to them in one of those little side car things. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.

First, pretend you’re totally fine with the change. In fact, go out of your way to accommodate them. Offer to take the couch in the Airbnb, even if it folds in half every time someone breathes. Plan a romantic candlelit dinner… and then insist on sitting between them. Nothing says bonding like forcibly inserting yourself between two people trying to whisper sweet nothings. Also, become their official trip photographer. Every time they look semi-affectionate, leap out of a bush and snap a photo. Bonus points if you mutter, “I’ll treasure this forever.”

If they try to sneak away for alone time, follow them like a well-meaning but clueless documentary filmmaker. Narrate everything they do in a hushed voice like you’re David Attenborough. “Observe the couple in their natural habitat… attempting to hold hands.” Bring matching T-shirts for the three of you that say “Three’s Company,” and insist on group selfies at every landmark. If they don’t take the hint, insist on sleeping in the middle. Emotionally and physically.

And why stop there? Bring your own surprise guest. A random Tinder date, your weird coworker Gary, or your ex who still thinks you’re together — anyone who will balance the dynamic just enough to make her realize how “fun” extra wheels can be. 

It’s okay to feel blindsided. You planned something special with your friend, and she changed the dynamic without checking in. Before the trip, have an honest, non-confrontational chat. Say something like, “I was really looking forward to some one-on-one time. Can we carve out a little space for that?” 

Every friendship has growing pains, especially when new relationships enter the picture. Setting gentle boundaries now can prevent resentment later. And remember — if they’re busy being cute and coupled up, you’re totally allowed to wander off and enjoy a solo moment in peace. Sometimes third wheels roll into the best adventures.

Best of bad advice,

Amy