Dear Amy,

My best friend recently started dating someone new, and now she’s constantly ditching our plans last minute to hang out with him. I’m happy she’s found someone, but I feel like I’ve been totally replaced. How do I talk to her without sounding jealous?

Signed, Third Wheeling and Dealing

Dear Third Wheeling and Dealing,

It’s a classic move; she’s been abducted by a new relationship and is currently living in a glittery haze of inside jokes and shared appetizers. The obvious solution here is to get aggressively dramatic. Send her a formal breakup text, complete with a Spotify playlist titled “Songs to Cry Alone To”, then unfollow her on social media — but only for 72 hours, just to cause light emotional damage. 

You’ll get bonus points if you dramatically whisper, “We were supposed to grow old together,” the next time you see her in person.

If that doesn’t work, start showing up wherever they go — restaurant, movie, grocery store. Become her other significant other. You were here first, after all.

Still not getting the attention you deserve? Stage an elaborate fake relationship with someone completely inappropriate: an ex, a mannequin, a local magician with a questionable goatee. Make plans with her and cancel at the last minute while posting constant updates of your whirlwind romance online. See how she likes being the third wheel in your rom-com.

Or, you know… you could just talk to her.

Let her know you’re happy she’s happy, but you miss your time together and feel like she’s unintentionally left you in the dust. A real friend won’t accuse you of being jealous — she’ll listen and probably realize she’s gotten a little relationship-tunnel-vision. Every friendship shifts a bit when love enters the chat, but that doesn’t mean yours has to fade out. Give her a chance to course-correct before you sign up to be the third wheel forever.

Best of bad advice,

Amy