Dear Amy,

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and overall, things are great — except for one thing. He is constantly late to everything. If we have dinner plans at 7 p.m., he shows up at 7:45 p.m. with a “Sorry, I lost track of time.” If we’re supposed to leave for an event, I have to lie and tell him it starts earlier than it does just to have a chance of arriving on time. I’ve talked to him about it, but he just laughs it off like it’s no big deal. How do I get him to take this seriously?

– Tired of Tardiness

Dear Tired,

It sounds like your boyfriend is a free spirit who enjoys living in his own time zone. The solution is obvious: join him there. If he tells you he’ll be over at 6 p.m., take a leisurely nap and meet him at 8 p.m. If he says he’ll pick you up for a movie, assume that you’ll miss the first half and only buy tickets for the next showing. When he finally asks why you’re suddenly on “Tired Standard Time,” simply shrug and say, “Oh, did I lose track of time? Weird.” Eventually, he’ll either start valuing punctuality or you’ll both just exist in a beautiful, chaotic world where time has no meaning.

Or, if you want to really make a point, set up an elaborate test. Tell him you have big news to share at exactly 3 p.m. sharp. Make it sound mysterious. When he shows up late and asks what it was, shake your head solemnly and say, “Sorry, you missed it. Guess you’ll never know.” Then refuse to ever bring it up again. If he doesn’t learn from that, he never will.

Or better yet — just stop waiting for him altogether. If you have dinner plans at 7 p.m., order and eat without him. If he asks where you are, tell him you had a lovely meal and are already home watching TV. For extra effect, send a selfie of you toasting an empty chair. Nothing teaches a lesson like realizing you’ve been stood up by your own bad habits.

In reality, some people genuinely struggle with time management, while others just don’t see lateness as a big deal. You need to determine which one he is. 

If he’s truly trying but bad at estimating time, suggest using alarms, calendar reminders or other time-tracking tools. However, if he simply doesn’t care, that’s a bigger issue. Relationships require mutual respect and constantly being late sends the message that his time is more valuable than yours. 

You’ve talked to him, but has he actually acknowledged the problem? If not, set clear expectations: “I need you to respect my time the same way I respect yours.” And if he still doesn’t take it seriously? You might need to consider whether you’re okay with waiting on him forever — literally.

Best of bad advice,

Amy